Comfort and Coping with Grief and the Holidays!

Christmas is such a wonderful time of year as we get to celebrate the birth of Jesus, see pretty lights, and listen to cheerful Christmas music. There is so much joy and wonder this time of year.   I love the delight and laughter of seeing Christmas through the eyes of a child as they open their presents.

With that, the holidays can also be a difficult time of year for many.  Especially this year during the challenges of being isolated, dealing with loneliness and having to be away from family.  Some of you may also be going through the grief of losing a job, a loved one, a pet, miscarriage, going through divorce or even unmet dreams.   From the bottom of my heart, I want to let you know that I send my deep condolences, thoughts, and prayers during this difficult time and season.  

I know I can’t fully comprehend how you are feeling, but I want you to know my heart goes out to you. As someone who has also experienced many losses, I know this season is one of hardest to go through. 

It’s my hope that I can encourage you and provide some tools to help you.

During the times when I dealt with the loss of several loved ones, financial loss, job loss, relationship loss and even my pets, the tools that helped me were journaling, experiencing God’s comfort, and processing with a counselor who helped me to get through those times.

Here is one of my favorite Bible verses that I read often. “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 NIV.  

God comes near to those that are broken, hurting and suffering.  

 Grief and loss can affect people differently and have several stages.  First, it may be the busy, shock and denial stage. The time where you are preparing for the funeral, sorting belongings, selling property, and reading wills.  When things finally slow down and people are not around as much, the sadness can hit.  It could also lead to a stage of anger, regrets, and deep mourning.  Thoughts of “I wish I did that or said that to the person.”   It may even lead to a time or feelings of depression.  These may differ in intensity for everyone.   It is healthy and good to take the proper time needed to process and grieve.  In time, things will begin to look and feel a little easier. 

This time of year can produce a lot of triggers for many people.  It might be a decoration, a scent, a song, a picture, seeing someone, a memory, or not having that special person at the dinner table.   Being aware of this, it may help if you prepare yourself by knowing that triggers and emotions can come at you anytime.  Allow yourself the space and time to process if that happens. 

If feelings, emotions, and depression is more than you can handle, I encourage you to reach out to someone.  After several of my own losses, I met with a Stephen’s Ministries mentor.  It was helpful to have someone just to talk with and listen.  She also suggested journaling and writing.

Well-being tips

·        Exercise

·        Get outdoors and fresh air

·        Eat Healthy 

·        Stay hydrated

·        Journaling

·        Laughter

·        Time or communication with those close to you

·        Enjoy the things that bring you joy 

Unfortunately, during times of grief, loss and hardship there is a tendency to want to numb out.  Some may go to alcohol, drugs, food, shopping, and over-committing themselves in order to stay busy. If this is describing you, or have past addiction issues, reach out to a counselor or someone you can confide in.  There are many resources available to you and that can help you process. These include counselors, grief counselors, classes, divorce care, Stephen’s Ministries, pastors, and mentors.  These resources can be found at local churches, hospitals, and other organizations and even a part of your work benefits.  Many companies offer employee helplines that you can reach out to for someone to talk to.  SEE BELOW FOR RESOURCES.  

If you know someone who is experiencing a season of grief or loss, I encourage you to reach out to them. One of the greatest gifts is a listening ear and time. Especially at the 30-90-day mark after the loss. This is a peak time for grief to hit, and it’s often the time when others are not in contact as much as before.

Again, I want you to know I am so sorry for this difficult season and send my condolences. It is my prayer that the God of comfort comes near to you.   May you be filled with His love and a great sense of hope during this season.

Wishing you a very Merry Christmas!

Bible Verses: 

Psalms 34:18, Psalms 147:3, Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, Matthew 5:4, 2 Corinthians 1:3-5, Revelations 21:4

RESOURCES:

Stephen’s Ministries-https://www.stephenministries.org/griefresources/default.cfm/774

Suicide Prevention: https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/suicide-prevention

Mental Health & Addiction Helpline: https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline

 If you know someone who may benefit from the message, feel free to share with others.

Blessings,

Lisa Hice

Frugal Living Network

Follow along on the journey on social media and the Frugal Living Network YouTube Channel!